


thoughts // lance

by windowsmaker



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Other, Suicide mention, poor lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windowsmaker/pseuds/windowsmaker
Summary: Trigger warning for a brief mention of suicide.Lance misses his family, and he's homesick. He wants to see them, he needs to see them. And that's exactly what he does.





	1. thoughts // lance

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly based on lance, but its got some klance at the end. its very slight, but its still there.

Lance sighed a long sigh as he sat outside of the castle. Being in the Garrison was one of his dreams, possibly even his only dream. Sure, he was in Voltron, one of the best space fighters to pilot, but yet he can't be satisfied with it. He can't be satisfied when he's always missing something about his old life. His mother, his father, his friends, his family, even Earth as a whole. He felt like he didn't belong, just a seventh wheel in something that he shouldn't even be in. He felt so awful, and could never stop thinking about his family. He couldn't even bring it up to someone, they would just say to suck it up, and say that he shouldn't be worrying because his life is better than some. Lance hated being a Voltron Paladin, never getting time to rest or have a conversation about something that happened, or some cute girl he flirted with. Lance felt horrible for abandoning his family and the Garrison to fight the good fight against the Galra.He hated how there could be the possibility for a search team to be looking for him, never finding him and treating him as dead. The news would flash with three missing Garrison members, bodies not found, and marked as dead. His name would be a signal of grief, never wanting to escape a pair of lips without tears wanting to fall. He would be spoken of as a he, not Lance. Parents would receive gifts of sorrow, letters even. His family would be grief ridden forever, until he was forgotten. This thought sent shivers up his spine, making him feel like he was worthless.Tears ran down his face as he sat by the small pool of water around them. He wished to feel the warm embrace of one of his parents strong or soft hugs. Each with their own meaning. He hugged himself tightly as tears rolled off his face and onto his clothes. Soft, quiet tears became heaving sobs as he thought more about his life on Earth. He could abandon Voltron now, Pidge almost had. Someone else could pilot the Blue Lion. He didn't need to fight, he could just run without a word. But yet he couldn't. The bond he had with the Blue Lion couldn't let him leave. Blue was a part of him he couldn't shed. He couldn't bear to leave his team, not after everything they had done. Lance's life was in a spiral of despair, and he couldn't stand it. His life was horrible, but he didn't act like it. Hidden pills in his room kept him from doing anything too extreme, but sometimes they didn't even work. Lance had days that could be considered great, adventures that were considered amazing, possibly even a outstanding life to some. But it wasn't true. It wasn't great, grand, spectacular, wonderful, good, super, or perfect. It was awful, horrible, grief-ridden, depressing, a thought of suicide always hanging somewheres in his brain. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, and he hoped he would never try.


	2. thoughts // lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you to @redfoxwizard for suggesting this!!! i have more in store just you wait!

Lance sat on his bed near his door, paying attention to any new sounds or signs of stillness in the castle. He had already mapped out his route to the escape pods. His note was written, his bag packed. He was ready to go, but knew it would be hard for him to leave again. Setting his note onto his bedside table, he opened his door and peered out to the hallway. Empty, and dim. Just the way he wanted it. Lance knew that Shiro patrolled the halls every few hours if he couldn’t sleep. He knew he had to hurry if he wanted to go. Grabbing his bag, he snuck into the living room. His quiet footsteps echoed throughout the halls, a small thrum of rhythm. A smile plastered onto his face as he neared the pods, but guilt struck him. He couldn’t abandon Blue, but he couldn’t take her with him either. He pushed himself through the door to the pods, thinking solely about his family.

Only one problem laid ahead of him. Getting to Earth. He hadn’t thought of that part, he was too set on getting home to see his family. He needed to see them, it was dragging his soul downwards. Lance crumpled to the ground, eyes wet. Lance stayed on the floor, his thoughts racing until something popped into his head. The pods had a two time use wormhole. One for getting to the destination, and one to get back. Pidge had installed them if one of the Paladin’s had to go somewheres to get something or if they had rescued someone. Lance grinned from ear to ear as he hopped into one, looking at the Altean characters. He had taught himself to read altean from the minute he had gotten the idea, as it turns out, it wasn’t as hard as he had thought. Pressing a button, the floor beneath the pod opened, throwing the pod into the empty, star-littered space. Lance drove farther from the Castle each minute, until finding the perfect spot to wormhole. Opening it, he drove into it, his eyes growing wet with tears as he thought of getting to see his family. He grinned widely as he was thrown into Earth’s galaxy.


	3. thoughts // lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i figured i should probs update this so i added the little bit i had in my drive,, sorry its so small

Lance finished his story, his family shocked.   
“It’s a lot to take in, I know. But I have to go, I can’t get you guys or Earth in danger. I’ll see if I can visit sometime soon.”  
He closed the door behind him, slowly jogging to his pod. He began to pick up speed, his mind racing. He took a big risk tonight, and hoped that neither the Galra or his fellow Paladins noticed. If either of them noticed, he would be in big trouble. He skidded to a stop, throwing open the pod door and crawling in. Booting up the system, he ran his hand over the front, the controls lighting up under his touch. Tapping a few buttons, he was lifted into the air. Getting enough speed, he flew out of Earth’s atmosphere. He gripped the control, then took in his surroundings. He let the pod gently float in the air as he blinked once, twice, thrice. A Galra warship stood in front of him. He couldn’t believe this, he had been found. He had possibly endangered Earth in the process. This one thought had been nagging in his brain, and yet he hopped it wouldn’t happen. There was a good chance in this, but yet he still found himself doubting it. He had been reckless doing this, he soon realized he shouldn’t have done it. He cursed loudly as he began to realize there might not be a way around this. He slammed on the controls, trying to gain enough speed to shake them off his trail, and to open a wormhole safely.


	4. thoughts // lance

Lance shot out of bed, his eyes wide. He ran a hand through his hair, then shot up. He threw his stuff off his desk, looking for the note. Nothing was there. He ran out of his room, sprinting to the escape pods, none were missing. He fell to the floor with a long sigh. It hadn't been real, it was just a dream, he told himself. As much as he would have loved to have visited his family, he was glad that he hadn't. Checking the time, he realized it was way to early to be out of his room. He walked back to his room, thoughts running through his head.   
"Lance!" Lance turned around on his heels to see Keith there. 

"Keith? What are you doing up?" Lance questioned, tipping his head to the side. 

"Don't try to play innocent with me, McClain. You could have endangered us." Keith growled, standing up straight and pointing a finger in Lance's face.

"What do you mean?" 

"You know exactly what I mean! You raced off to Earth without a warning in the middle of the night, and got captured by the Galra. You were reckless Lance, and you shouldn't have went without telling someone!" He yelled, as Lance looked away with guilt.

"Look Keith, I'm sor-" Lance was cut off as Keith wrapped his arms around him

"I was worried Lance. You could have died..." Keith blinked away a few tears as he held Lance tighter.

"Keith, I hadn't thought when I did it, I was selfish, and I'm sorry. I should have told you." Lance wrapped his arms around Keith tighter. 

"Don't be like me Lance, please. I don't want to lose you, you mean to much to me." Keith broke the hug, looking at Lance.

Lance nods, giving Keith a small kiss on the cheek. 

"I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it again. Please."


End file.
